Wassup'

"And pursue not that of which thou hast no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of feeling in the heart will be enquired into the Day of Reckoning"


[17:36]

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Monday, January 18, 2010

haiyah


supposedly
working time
need to finish all the ongoing costing
and the proposalssssss
how i hate new year
how i hate this

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posted @ 7:34 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Saturday, January 16, 2010

what's real?


i'm wondering
which are real and which arent
is he a real person
or is he just my imagination
are the memories all made up
or it did really happened
then the pictures, emails, text msgs
what about that what about that
i am confuse so confuse i could die
i look up to sky now i know
its all just a lie
or maybe not
oh no

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posted @ 7:36 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Puppy, And A rainy day


Yesterday
It was raining,
really heavily.
the clouds were so dark,
it looks almost like a deep sea,
floating weirdly, dripping water wetting the earth.

I was driving,
and it was cold.
as i turn down the aircond,
i saw a cute little abundant lonely puppy
cold, shivering on the roadside
i continue driving

today
it is still raining
and it is still the same floating deep blue see up above me
i was driving, again, on the same road
and at the same roadside,
i saw the puppy again,
only this time,
lying dead on the road

poor puppy

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posted @ 10:44 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Wednesday, December 02, 2009

life after uni..


it's not boring as commonly described. it's just hard to be explained in words. one time you like it. another time u don't. i miss my uni life, uni friends, uni everything. working is fun, fun in its own way. not like fun fun, but its fun.

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posted @ 5:57 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Warkah Untuk Kamu...


Assalamualaikum. Andai kamu sedang membaca warkah ini, Alhamdulillah, makanya kamu telah selamat sampai. Dan alhamdulillah Allah telah memakbulkan doa-doa hamba-Nya yang menyayangi kamu.

Seperti yang telah dijangka, pagi ini tidak akan menjadi seindah selalu. Tidak akan seindah pagi-pagi yang telah menyerikan hidup ini sepanjang 3 bulan yang lalu. Namun hidup mesti diteruskan. Kebahagiaan mesti terus di cari.

Tiada apa yang ingin diperkatakan, kerana tiada apa yang akan diperkatakan bakal mengubah takdir kejadian hidup kita ini. Hanya doa yang dapat kupanjatkan agar suatu hari, kita akan dapat bertemu kembali. Dan semoga kamu diberkati.

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posted @ 7:34 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Sunday, September 20, 2009

Selamat Hari Raya!


Yay! It’s Hari Raya again! After 3 successive painfully enjoyfull Rayas in Edinburgh, I finally got a chance to celebrate these festive days (note the s) in Malaysia, and most importantly with my exasperatingly lovely family. Alhamdulillah, despite of our family being consecutively bombarded by deaths, Raya this year is still merrily celebrated with only a few exceptional teary moments. This is actually the first Raya without my late father around. It is a weebit (I miss Edinburgh) difficult especially for me mum. She cried so many times, mostly behind closed doors.

It is less tricky for me emotionally. Maybe I am well prepared for such circumstances by the previous experience of Raya away from my family. Or maybe my point of view about death is a little bit skewed thus making me less poignant than the others. Or maybe I’ve moved on. Afterall it has been 5 months already since my dad passed away.

Physically…well, it is kinda hard in a way. All the daging and ayam need to booked, kuih-kuih need to be sorted, and the dying old blue wira need to be looked after yada yada yada. All these are done by him before this and I all the time take it for granted. Now that he’s gone, my mum is liable and since I’m the only son available on that time, the responsibilities are automatically mine. Not to mention all the cleaning and decorating, which I usually glaringly volunteer myself in.

My home is crowdedly cramped by my mum, 3 giant sized brothers, a sister, 4 in-laws and 11 infuriating, aggravating, maddening, irritating, exasperating, nauseating nieces and nephews. Despite of the negative descriptions, all 21 of us, when together, are the most enjoying thing ever occurred in my life which make the Raya absolute complete.

All in all (I’m getting bored typing this), this Raya will be remembered. Well maybe because it is the first dad-less Raya but mainly because all of us are united once again under one roof, perhaps for the last time.

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posted @ 7:38 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Saturday, September 19, 2009

Epiphany


All my siblings are here now. Tomorrow is the first day of Raya and all of us (not really) are busy preparing the rending, satay, kuah kacang, nasi impit, ketupat…(the list goes on). And my mum’s phone is currently busy receiving 100 upon 100 of forwarded Raya messages, which I personally think is less sincere and hypocritical, compared to personally typed sms or a short call. Reading all the messages, I figured it all contains Maaf Zahir & Batin, the most common Raya wishes.

What does this expression, or rather Raya slogan really means? Well the Zahir part is easier to explain, it is more about something that you can visibly see or feel, like lebam di muka of your friend that you heatedly punched, or your husband’s mustang that you scratched for not going back to your kampong for Raya. The Batin part is a weebit trickier. Somehow I am worried. How to explain this to my nephews or nieces if suddenly their innocent carefree immature and lazy brain (I used to think that kids don’t do thinking) asks about this? Growing up in a society that are somewhat fanatic about tenaga batin (with all the ali’s tongkat and farimah’s kacip in 1000 different selections of drinks, foods, creams yada yada yada…), I automatically relate the Batin part of the wish with…you know what. For me, this just doesn’t make any sense, not at all. Why there is a need to include the Batin part? Does everyone do the Batin indecency? Batin wrongdoing? With who? Your wife? Arghh mak confuse!

After 18 years (minus 6 years of my life, I don’t do thinking before 7 years old) of this absurd misconception about the Batin part of the Raya slogan I suddenly received a clear epiphany after reading an honest and truthful forwarded text from Firdaus. It is so clear that all this while the Batin part represent the unseen damages that someone has caused to others, the emotional damages that someone had done to others. Arghh…why am I so stupid? I should have known this way earlier!!!!! Arghhh…I’m pretty sure that others already well familiar with this simple fact and probably monologing about my stupid clumsiness.

Salam Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin.

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posted @ 7:35 AM
wasn't meant to be*



Wasn't meant to be...
MySelf

im afiq...afiq adham.born in pahang,grew up in negri sembilan and now live in terengganu.currently a biologycal sciences student in edinburgh university.wish me luck cause im now struglin in almost everything im in.

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