Wassup'
"And pursue not that of which thou hast no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of feeling in the heart will be enquired into the Day of Reckoning"
[17:36]
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Thursday, November 10, 2011
mungkin hidup ini sudah tiba ke penghujungnya. mungkin juga tidak. namun sejak dari awal lagi, sayup-sayup mengatakan yang diri ini tidak akan bertahan lama. kematian sejak kebelakangan ini acap bermain di benak fikiran. bukanlah hajat di hati untuk mengambil nyawa sendiri, nauzubillah. cumanya banyak kematian berlaku di sekeliling. Al Fatihah buat Fakhrul Mukminin & Nurul Izzati, semoga tenang dan dirahmati. dengan kehendak Allah akan saya susuri langkah kalian.
perasaan ingin mati sepatutnya diiringi dengan rasa penuh takwa. persoalan iman dan ibadah, dosa dan pahala seharusnya mematikan rasa ingin mati itu sendiri. dan Allah, lanjutkanlah usia ku ini agar aku berkesempatan untuk menjadi seorang muslim yang sempurna. amin.
hidup mati itu hak Allah, rahsia Allah. maafkan, ampunkan dosa-dosa, halalkan makan pakai, dan doakanlah kesejahteraan di alam seterusnya.
posted @ 4:21 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Sunday, June 12, 2011
mimpi semalam
semalam dia datang lagi,
menjengah ke dalam ruang mimpi,
berbaju melayu kuning lembut,
lengkap bertengkolok,
berdiri sayu di tengah sebatang jalan.
wajahnya sayu,
keningnya sedikit berkerut.
dan dia berkata, "Tunggu"
posted @ 6:46 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Monday, June 06, 2011
menjejak realiti
lama sungguh tidak menjengah ke blog sendiri, inikan pula nak menulis sesuatu. 24 jam yang dikurniakan setiap hari, sememangnya mencukupi namun telah diisi dengan agenda agenda yang lain.
membaca post post lama, pelbagai perasaan menjelma. kelakar melihat ketidakmatangan diri, sedih mengenangkan masa yang telah lalu. tapi hidup mesti diteruskan.
beberapa hari lepas, semasa meredah kesesakkan trafik dari Penang ke Kuala Lumpur, terasa diri ini seperti ditampar, dihempas bertubi, apabila mendengar kata-kata dari seorang sahabat.
sesuatu itu tidak mungkin menyakitkan seperti ini melainkan apa yang dikatakannya adalah tentang kebenaran.
diakui, sememangnya diri ini masih kukuh menjunjung memori kehidupan lampau di perantauan. bukan mudah untuk tidak berbicara tentangnya. lebih sukar apabila tidak banyak yang dilalui dalam 2 tahun selepas itu boleh dikongsikan.
apapun, semoga diri ini cekal dan tabah. walaupun perlahan, kaki kaki ini sudah mula berdicit-dicit dengan kenyataan. semoga semuanya belum terlambat
posted @ 10:07 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Setahun Yg Lalu
Setahun sudah berlalu....
hmmm it's been a year since i left Edinburgh. i can still remember watching the straight line of raining cloud through the plane window, horizontally separated the blue scottish summer sky into two. it was so beautiful, almost surreal.
i can still remember the taste of orange juice served by the flight attendant, the taste of nasi masjid, with lamb curry, chicken tandoori and mashed spinach with potatoes that i had before the long 17 hours journey.
i can still smell eddy's smelly squashy attire. and the light malboro that he smoked while sending me off to edinburgh airport with that dark blue mini cooper. i can feel the sadness, and how lonely i was on that day, standing alone in front of the large screen, waiting for my flight to arrive.
i miss the fresh old town smell of edinburgh's air, how the breeze smoothly enters my nostril, with a soft cold touch every time i breath in. and how each breath out is filled with satisfaction, yet at the same time u can feel the desperation, and urgency for another breath in. this continuously alternating sense of satisfaction and desperation of enjoying the lovely edinburgh's air, i really really miss.
sadly, with the sweet smoky taste of Edinburgh's air being absence, all the sweet memories of me being there is heavily suppressed, somewhere in my complex brain. i can see glimmers of it, i can hear it but i cant feel it. i can see a double Decker lothian bus crossing the north bridge passing me by, on a cold lonely night. but the experience is almost unreal, like it never happen before. i can see the roses in prinses garden, under the long scottish summer sun, and im sitting under the dark cold shade of a huge tree, listening to each steps of passers by, with the sounds of gravels ticking that it made. but i cant feel it.
i enjoy walking through KL Convention Center now. as it smells a lot like the king's building. sitting on the bench along the long walkway of KLCC, i can see the security staffs of swann building sorting the mails in their dark blue jumper, i can hear a girl talking with somebody through her mobile at the corner of the foyer, with another two random girls sitting there, waiting for a friend perhaps, or maybe for a tutorial session later that day. i can hear the sound of wood plane of the staircase in darwin bulding, and the old printing machine at the reception. and i can feel all of these, thanks to the king's building like smells of KLCC.
yes it has been a year. a short year indeed. though i gained 15kgs, and when totally blank on alternative splicing, it still feels like i just left einburgh yesterday, and is waiting for the summer break to end.
posted @ 3:44 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Kesesakkan lalulintas
bluek. what a very lame excuse. and even worse, i was accused of being judgmental. hmm...thah is actually a new form of being jedgmental - judging others of being judgmental. muahaha....
i went to OU today to meet a friend. well the traffic was bad, especially at the kewajipan. and even worse, i took the wrong turn. but it wasnt bad enough to kill u suddenly while driving. or to make ur next one whole year a nightmare. and everybody is experiencing the same thing too.
posted @ 6:03 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Alhamdulillah
hmmm....alhamdulillah. just got a msg and it is now confirmed that he is safe. and he will be back soon. suddenly feel like eating murni ss2. argh mee raja.
posted @ 4:12 AM
wasn't meant to be*
Monday, May 31, 2010
May Allah Save The Fleet...
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...
Oh Allah most gracious most merciful. please save the fleet. save the freedom flotilla. protect them from what ever evil that are in right now. bless them, bless the ships, bless the helps, bless everything that are important to their struggle, their fight, their great effort right now.
amen.
posted @ 9:43 AM
wasn't meant to be*
